Surrounded by Men

I Am Forever Changed

It was 5-5 1/2 years ago when God spoke these words to me, "See, I am surrounding you with men." I remember those early days at a new church; so many times I was frustrated that God had taken me from my previous church of 12 years and transplanted me in this new one. I had so many hopes and dreams for my old church that just went unmet. Many times in my frustration, I asked "Why did I have to be transplanted?"

To be honest, I asked the question and didn't expect Him to answer... When this word came to me, I thought I knew what he meant. As I look back it's a little clearer that I had a narrow vision of what He meant. I assumed that when He said "men" He meant male, but some of those "men" are precious female souls that love God and have touched my soul with their friendship, given me a place to heal, to be me, and to see and understand God in ways far beyond my own understanding.

So, on the last Sunday of 2024, I got a chance to get a picture with my associate pastors. I'm not very big on having my picture taken or taking selfies, but I started getting pictures after Thanksgiving with my "family". To paraphrase a recent comment from my pastor, "We don't get to choose what family we are born into, but we can choose who gets to be in our family".

Being an only child, coming from a broken home, and losing five family members by the time I was fourteen; in hindsight, there was this part of me that was looking for meaning and belonging... it took me 38 years to find it.

Again, on that final Sunday, as this precious couple agreed to meet me after church and take a photo, I went into that morning's service reflecting on the "men" God has surrounded my life with. I don't even remember what song they were singing, but I just wept, not because of the words of the song, but because the people who I've chosen and who have chosen me, to be my family, mean so much to me. Literally, I felt so broken in humility and gratitude for all God has done in the last 86 months of my life. He has done it through this church and these people, and a few others who get honorary status as my church family.

Going home after church and having taken the photo (top left below), I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about gratitude, and the tears started flowing all over again. There is a saying that says, "We become the sum of the five people we are closest to"; I know I wouldn't be who I am today without these people. To use my associate pastors as an example, they have been champions in my corner; always there to encourage, to see things in me that I'm often quick to dismiss, or to pray for me. Darrell, who is big and tall with a booming voice, but a big-hearted man, and Lisa, who has that quiet and gentle, but strong leadership style and can light up a room with her smile or laugh.

My associate pastors, Darrell & Lisa (top left). My friend and mentor, Frank, with his son and my friend, Micheal (top middle). My friend and “big sister” Shelly w/ her husband and my friend, Jerry (top right). My friend and other “big sister”, Misti, with her husband and my friend, David (bottom left). Our pastors, Chris & Bridgette with my mom holding her baptismal certificate (bottom right).