Encouraged by Being at Church

In a recent bible study, a friend talked about the power of words, but she also got into talking about encouragement. She stated that one of her previous pastors had said one time, “Ungiven encouragement is equal to discouragement.” If we fail to give encouragement when the spirit prompts us to, then we are potentially allowing that person to fall into discouragement.

She started the bible study with the question, “Is it hard to give encouragement?” My initial thought was, “Well duh, I'm an encourager... It's not hard to give encouragement”. I am a very analytically-minded person, and I am very considerate, or to use another friend’s description of me, “I weigh words heavily; every word has a depth of meaning to it”. Early on before I understood or realized that God had given me a heart to encourage others, it was difficult to give encouragement. At times it was extremely difficult to the point of, if I were to think of walking up to a lady in church to compliment her hair or outfit, as simple as it may be, it made me uncomfortable.

Encouragement doesn't have to be this big, profound, wordy, and/or wise saying that you give to other people; it can be something as simple as a smile; it can be a simple act or word of kindness. Many times, we don't know what’s going on in other people's lives or other people's heads, and sometimes giving that smile, friendly tap on the shoulder, or a hug, when appropriate, could mean more than anything else in the world to that person. If God prompts you to go pray for another person in the altar, you may not know the circumstance, the situation, or what they've gone through that week, day, or the morning leading up to them being there; the fact that you would come, kneel down and pray with them or spent time in the altar with them, it could be the most encouraging thing in the world to them.

In those earlier days, to give encouragement or a compliment, I would freeze... It was easier to turn and walk away, to avoid giving a compliment, giving a word of kindness, or opening my mouth and saying something. I often wondered if it'd be appropriate, because there are times when a compliment or encouragement could be taken the wrong way, even when the intent is kindness or to be friendly.

The Bible tells us that, “there is power in the tongue, and we have the power to speak words of life, or to speak words of death. Is it hard to give encouragement? It can be if you're locked up in your own mind, if you’re overanalyzing the situation, or if you're putting too much weight into the words that you're using. It’s up to us to be obedient and understand, as my old pastor did, it’s never inappropriate to encourage someone. If the other person has a negative reaction or no reaction at all to being encouraged or complimented, then that’s on them and not me or you.

I had a situation, myself, here a few months ago, somebody I've known for many years, and I've attended two different churches with this person. On this particular day, it was the kind of day that church was good, the service was good, the preaching was good, the worship service was good, and a lot of it was good, but there wasn't really anything that stood out or was special. Sometimes I think we go to church needing something from God but we either do not realize it or we don’t know what we need, and therefore we do not verbalize it. Perhaps we even think we are doing God a favor by going to church, not receiving something, and being fine in realizing that, spiritually, I’m not a baby; I’ve been around church for close to 2 decades, and God puts feeding the spiritual babies as a higher priority.

So, after church, this young lady came up to me, that I've known for many years, and she began to tell me something that her mom had told her, that her mom felt that by my choice to show up to church every Sunday and Wednesday, and to worship God the way I often do, it impacted her children in a way that she credits her children's participation in church to this day to me, and because of that, I mean a lot to this entire family.

When I heard that, it really changed my whole perspective. When I see this lady sing on Sundays, or I talk to her cousin that was raised like a brother and the amount of respect he has for me, or her mom, I am reminded that we each have a part to play and if we are not there to fill it, look at what could have happened in this case... A whole family is still involved in church and being used in ministry and it’s all because I showed up and did my part; as insignificant as it may have seemed. To this family, it mattered and made a difference.